So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
