And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you inspire me to be a worse person
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
