All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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