worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
