My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
