Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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