I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it's like iHOP with fire
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
