Kiss
Puke
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
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