the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
