I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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