Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
