im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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