and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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