that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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