so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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