So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
