New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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