I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You don't make any sense
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