you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
