Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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