So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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