Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just had sex bonerless
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we're making bets on your personal life
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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