never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
