4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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