so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
