Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
