I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
