If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
