you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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