Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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