Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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