yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
