first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
