the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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