I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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