Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
