He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
