Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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