mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
