i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
