3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
