you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
