i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
