this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
