Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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