Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
