It's Friday. Sex?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I touched a dick in church today
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
