Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just want to make out with him forever
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
