Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
