fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
